their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
