Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
