So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
