I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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