she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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