Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
