They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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