Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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