You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
