I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
as a side note pls kill me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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