you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
