She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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