I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
