the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
