do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
