Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
