She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
