you win again, gameday.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
