i just google imaged poop.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
