Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
