i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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