You're completely useless in the revolution.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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