i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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