I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
