so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just gargled with NyQuil
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