I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
