Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
