Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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