Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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