shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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