how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
