Why are handjobs necessary in class?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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