just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
