in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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