he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
