good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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