He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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