you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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