i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
