you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
