before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize