didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
