Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
