whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There's always time for handjobs
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
