You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
