Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
