Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm really busy with my period
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