You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
