They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
