We're facebook friends in real life
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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