i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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