he wants to bone in the snuggie
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Randomize
