He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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