Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
