office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
