Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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