May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
