I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i've created a new STD.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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