Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
