Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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