I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
