I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Even my vagina gasped.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize