We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
