Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
