Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
