i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
