Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
