Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
