worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
only you would photoshop your dick
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
