Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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