she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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