She announced her abortion via fbk
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
