I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you win again, gameday.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize