god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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