I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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