I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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