How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
