talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
