Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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