Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
