She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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